CBB Legacy

CBB has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. My dad was in the cohort of 78 and my mom liked the changes she saw in him so much she went through CBB the very next year! My Tía María was an instructor in the program since before I was born (and later became the director) and her husband/my Tío Denny taught in the program for 8 years. My two cousins went through CBB and we have many CBBer friends of the family. Over my lifetime I have had many conversations with alumni and they often talked about what a powerful CBB experience they had. They would often say to me, “It’s too hard to explain why CBB is special, JUST DO IT.” I am glad I heeded their advice because CBB ended up being life-changing for me!

In the first three months of my experience, I barely spoke up at all. I had fears of conflict, being judged, being criticized, taking up space, and/or harming others unintentionally, especially because I am phenotypically white. After a while, some of my BIPOC cohort mates invited me to speak up and told me that they wanted to hear from me. Their warm invitations helped me understand that in many of our conversations about race and oppression, there was a place for my perspective too. Thank you to my cohort mates for that! The more I cultivated the courage to speak up, the more I explored parts of myself that I had previously hidden and avoided. I was afraid to express anger, partly because I did not have much healthy modeling of how to do so growing up and partly because I have been socialized as a girl/woman and have received messages that my value is tied into how nice and accommodating I am. Some of the most powerful moments I experienced in CBB were when I had bottled up hurt/anger at my cohort and/or instructors and I ended up having tearful, angry outbursts at everybody. People treated me with love and acceptance afterward and it truly helped me love and accept that part of myself! (Thank you, classmates and instructors!!) I learned how to connect with myself and others more deeply and authentically. Since I had spent my adolescence and young adulthood in fast party crowds, CBB was the first space I was in where I was surrounded by courageous people that were working to connect more deeply to themselves and each other. I realized how much I needed that type of community and experiencing it with people from many different rich cultural backgrounds was immeasurably spiritually nourishing. I felt seen, loved, accepted, protected and connected. When we feel that way, the magic happens!

CBB super-charged my journey toward freeing myself from shame that comes from living in imperialist, capitalist, cisheteropatriarchal, white-supremacist-delusional systems. I have been learning to express my needs, feelings, and boundaries more authentically and it feels SO LIBERATING! I am also grateful that in my current work as a therapist, I am able to create spaces for others to walk the same path. I feel an immeasurable profound gratitude for every single CBB instructor and student I have interacted with… you all taught me something! THANK YOU for being part of my transformation and liberation. I am very grateful to be a part of the CBB family!